Rebirth Of The Ridiculous
by Amarin Rose
Summary: Endless Crossover. Death doesn't like having to change her plans for resurrecting people, even superheroes, but with what the Titans have been up to lately, it would be more than a little ridiculous to stick to her original schedule.


**Rebirth Of The Ridiculous**

* * *

It was getting more than slightly ridiculous. Two weeks ago – or four timeline alternations – it had actually moved into the realm of the absurd.

Delirium tapped her foot and stared down Death. "You know what we have to do, sister." Seriousness was hard for her, but this instance required it, as mortal happenings rarely had.

"It isn't his time yet," Death insisted, even as she wished she could. She'd always held a particular soft spot for the good people of the mortal world who tried so hard, despite overwhelming odds.

"It isn't **either** of their times, but even you must see that things can't go on like this." With this pronouncement, Delirium gestured toward the world below with one ring-bedecked hand, time flickering in and out with changes as the latest alternations were rewritten into recorded history.

Death snorted. "I'm surprised to hear **you** declaim reason, sister."

Delirium shrugged, rainbow ruffles spilling from her neck and mingling with her silver, gold and copper braid. "This trifecta of weirdness is more wonderful than my usual, true, but they're keeping time from running forward, and that's no fun at all." She added a pout for good measure.

Sighing, Death rubbed the bridge of her nose, the Horus Eye tattoo moving with the motion, the tail almost undulating like a snake.

Enraptured by the sight, Delirium let dangly earrings form at her ears.

"Why should I move his time forward?" Death asked, and Delirium started.

Gathering her thoughts, she removed the ruffles and dangling gems, trying to appear less frivolous. Less delirious was, of course, not possible. "Every time Superboy is the one to die, within a year Robin tries to bring him back," Delirium stated. "The cloning process never works, but magic does, only he's the one to die. Then, in the half of the cases where Robin rewrites history so he is the one to die in the Crisis, Superboy is the one to try and bring him back. When he isn't, Superboy still tries, just half a year later, after he's been brought back."

Death nodded, unable to help a wince; mortals interfering on her plain always gave her a headache. And in some cases, heartache, when it was clear the process of grief would not let ago of their mortal souls. "True, sister."

Nodding back, Delirium continued, "And now we have Wonder Girl in the mix. One third of the time, when Superboy dies, half a year later Wonder Girl tries to bring him back. She's always failed so far, but sooner or later, one of these incarnations, she'll find the magic to do it, and then things will get even more complicated."

Death sighed; she knew even better than Delirium what had been going on; the cult Wonder Girl had joined the past three rotations was one that resurfaced every few decades, and one she kept a close eye on.

As well she should, considering the cosmic cluster fuck the former Young Justice team members were making of the circle of life and death.

"Complications which you could solve if you would just bring Kon-El back to life before one of his friends gets it in their heads to do it for you." Delirium clasped her hands imploringly in front of her, the lace veil over her now black curls giving her a waifish look – if one ignored that it was tie-dyed in neon yellow, purple and green.

The blow to her pride in her job stung, and Death turned away, frowning, holding her ankh with one hand as she did when she worried.

Delirium sighed. "What would get you to agree?" She wanted balance restored to the world; without it, her job had no purpose, and was no fun.

Death tipped her head to the side. "A quorum," she finally replied.

Knowing what her sister meant, Delirium said, "Desire wants him; says the yearning for him not to be gone it's what's driving them."

"And I suppose Dream wants theirs to come true?" Death asked, sarcasm chilling her voice.

Delirium grinned manically, flowers sprouting in her pupils and whirling around with delight. "Exactly."

Death grimaced. "That's only three."

Delirium sighed, holding back a giggle that bubbled within her at being so close to her goal. She knew her sister was being particularly difficult, not allowing herself to finish off the majority needed. "Destiny says Kon-El's Fate is not yet sealed." Destiny didn't often allow himself to get involved in politics among the Endless. It wasn't his place to look ahead in the book, he said.

Death pursed her lips and looked away. "That's only half," she allowed finally.

Sighing loudly, and adding a noise of disgust to the end, Delirium said, "No one's destiny will be fulfilled if time is not allowed to move on."

Gnashing her teeth, Death turned back to glare at her sister. "If only Destruction had not moved on, this never would have been allowed to happen."

Delirium nodded. Even she could see that was true. The world would not have fallen into such disarray with someone in charge. "So?"

Face squinching up as if she was trying to hold back the word, Death finally expelled it on a breath, her ankh lighting up as her power was exerted. "Fine."

And with that, Kon-El was reborn.

Now Death's only problem was ensuring that something like this didn't happen when The Flash died. Somehow, she thought that Bartholomew Allen would be returning from the Speed Force much sooner than she'd originally planned.

And strangely, Death was fine with that.

* * *

THE END


End file.
